When I first began my doula practice, I put a lot of effort into assembling what came to be know as the Mary Poppins bag that I carried to births (Remember the scene in the movie when they show the kids faces as she pulls a lamp out of her carpet bag?). My spoonful of sugar included: nauseau bands, a variety of massage tools (from the orgasmatron head tickler to a baker’s rolling pin), honey sticks, rehydration salts, heating pad, ice pack and fan among the treasures to be found. I invested in a set of high quality essential oils for aromatherapy. I then added tools that required learning new skills, such as a TENS unit, homeopathy kit and Mexican scarf called a Rebozo.

The bag become something to be added to and it’s weight, representative of what I had to offer. For home visits, I additionally delivered hand mixed herbs to make a postpartum sitz bath tea to soothe new mamas, a Moby wrap sling to teach moms how to wear their babies and samples of teas, healing salves and breastfeeding videos to loan.

Acquiring these items was mostly fun and I enjoyed learning different applications, as well as sharing with my clients. What I carried became proof of my attention to detail and interest in beauty, feeding the senses and home remedies. Mixing the herbs and cultivating tools fed my creativity. And I loved going the extra mile for my clients.

At a certain point, my bag began to cut into my shoulder and I was limping under it’s weight. I could no longer bike or walk to visit clients who lived nearby. So, I decided it was time to get a bag on wheels or a small suitcase, as I had seen other doulas with. Then, I had the realization that all this stuff was actually holding me back. I did not need these things. My clients did not hire me because of what I carried. Anyone could purchase a massage tool.

Instead of trying to accommodate more stuff, I began to scale back. I let go of three quarters of my bag contents. Then, I refilled it halfway with things that fed me: food, supplements to support my system when awake all night, a change of clothes, travel size of my favorite toiletries. It turned out that taking care of myself and carrying less helped me to be even more present and emphasize what matters most: compassion, encouragement, reassurance. The tools I was free to develop and rely on became intuition, hands, heart and voice. And I bring these with me wherever I go now and whatever I do (plus cell phone, ID and keys).

Stuff is nice as long as it is not weighing you down or becoming a crutch, but it’s not essential.

Now, about you. What’s weighing you down? What does your stuff prove about you? If you pared down, what’s left that is essential? Who would you get to be without all the stuff? What does clearing out make space for in your practice? in your life? Recall that Mary Poppins remained light enough to fly.

Magenta goes with everything, every room deserves a red accent, chocolate should be very dark, our true nature is love and goodness, the definition of a weed is in the eye of the beholder, every person is born with their own original medicine, the body has an innate intelligence and that it seeks balance in the form of homeostasis.

Blue eye shadow, bright lipstick, bindhis and glitter are never out of style, that everyone looks good in hoop earrings, animals should be treated kindly and in thanking postal workers and garbage truck drivers – even if they’re just doing their job.

All people deserve compassion and to be looked in the eye, in grassroots movements, that magic is possible when a group of women come together, the real truth doesn’t harm, it is worth visiting holy sites and elders are worthy of both respect and care for the simple fact of surviving on this planet as long as they have.

It is never too late, there is strength in letting go, forgiveness and setting boundaries, the world needs more women in power and Mother Earth is both holding us and needs our help.

Hats are universally flattering, in wearing bike helmets, that sometimes we just need to take the leap and Mary Poppins must have been based on a real person.

The best candles are made of soy and beeswax, renewable energy is the future, that self-care is not selfish, you don’t need to be flexible to practice yoga or in key to sing, sex can be sacred and funny, and that all bodies should be appreciated.

We don’t have to give up who we truly are to belong, that you are enough as you are and worthy of love, that we are social beings and connection is important to our well being.

Community, marriage and relationship should be verbs, kindness is a currency, women’s voices matter, in the right to choose and bodily integrity, that laughter is medicine and in universal access to education, clean water and health care.

Everything is connected, nobody is too small to make a difference, bringing beauty to the world is a worthwhile cause, being in nature is restorative, men need hugs and that it really does take a village.

Floral dresses and star patterns brighten the day, in time spent reading horoscopes and recognizing constellations, in awkward pauses and passionate exaltations, that shining your light will never dim someone else’s and the world needs more people living from their truth.

I wrote previously about what living from your truth is not. Here’s what it looks like to embrace your authentic self:

Appreciating your unique gifts, original medicine, native genius.

Feeling your feelings and emotions but not always acting on them.

Listening to the message of fear without letting it hold you back.

Dialoguing with your inner critic without believing it.

Dancing with your shadow, those disowned or buried parts of yourself, to become whole.

Seeing and acknowledging your innate worthiness, essential goodness and best intentions.

Feeding your senses. (You are worthy of dark chocolate, soaks in the tub, scented candles, a beautiful journal, vacation in Mexico…).

Mindfulness. Being here now, whether sitting on a cushion, walking or chopping vegetables..

Self-care practices.

Inhabiting your body, regardless of shape, size, color or abilities. It is your vehicle for experiencing the world.

Honoring natural cycles – feminine cycles, life cycles, seasons and sleep cycles. We are ever changing, like the moon.

Finding enoughness.

Developing and listening to intuition, your inner guide or wise woman.

Taking risks, falling down, getting up, letting the net catch you.

Being human.

Nurturing creativity and forms of self-expression.

Showing up. (Because you belong here, sister!)

Vulnerability.

Being with the unknown and releasing the illusion of safety, especially from conforming to other’s desires and expectations.

Making conscious choices.

Having boundaries. Changing them as needed.

Owning your experience. Letting go of blame.

Forgiveness of yourself and others.

Sacred audacity. Freeing your inner wild woman.

Seeing the higher truth (even when others are blind to it).

Sealing power leaks. Not giving your power away when it depletes you. That can never be sustainable.

Standing in your own power and beauty. Contrary to what we may have been conditioned to believe, this will never diminish the power and beauty of others.

Ready to embrace your authentic self? It’s easier than you think. You don’t even have to dye your hair pink, quit your job, start a blog, go to painting classes, sing on stage, join the peace corps, learn french, break up with your significant other, wear short shorts, give up wine, wake up an hour earlier to meditate, get or remove a tattoo, buy only organic-local-fairtrade, donate to PETA, make a pilgrimage to Tibet (or Jerusalem or Mecca), get another degree, do 108 sun salutations, learn to snowboard, read Dostoyevsky cover to cover, go to massage school, use accounting software, join a walk-a-thon for breast cancer, break out those 70’s platforms, plant a biodynamic medicinal garden, tutor under-served teens, sell your car & bike to work.

As a life coach, I help women embrace their authentic selves and live from their truth. Sometimes, there is confusion about what authenticity and truth mean. The real truth is never mean. For me to be who I really am, there must be space for you to be who you really are. In fact, by embracing my authentic self, there is freedom. This does not make it easy to do in a culture that rewards achievement, acquiring things and appearance above connection. It can take courage, hard work, mistakes and sometimes an ally, mentor or guide to follow this path. However, I know that when I connect authentically, I can be of greater service to the world. I can give and receive sustainably. Here’s what living from your truth does NOT mean:

Blaming other people. Making them wrong.

Manipulating others to get what you want. Controlling other people’s reactions.

Telling everyone your opinion of them, their character, their outfit, their creations – be it praise or shame.

Expecting the world to conform to how you see it.

Blowing off commitments. Flakiness.

Lack of integrity. When your words do not match your actions.

An excuse to do whatever you want.

Getting or taking whatever you want.

Not caring about other people or their feelings.

Superiority – moral or otherwise.

Never saying you are sorry.

Letting it all hang out, indiscriminately.

Violence, stealing or harm against others or yourself.

Abuse of power. Bullying.

Any kind of cruelty.

Letting others or circumstances make the choices for you. Avoiding responsibility for what you do.

Not standing up for yourself or what you believe in (when appropriate).

Underestimating your value and innate worthiness as a human being.

Doing things that go against yourself, your moral code or inner wisdom in exchange for acceptance, belonging, monetary or other gain.

Ignoring your body, feelings and emotions.

Fear and doubt will never show up.

Molding to someone else’s idea of truth, beauty, success. Following another’s path (even if you do it very well).

Not making any mistakes.

Making excuses.

Waiting until tomorrow…

If you would like help discovering what living from your truth looks like, learn more here.

When I was small, I once hit the gear shift while the car was running. My father had made the mistake of stepping out of the car for a moment to pay the meter. The car started to roll and he reached in the open window and used his strength to stop the car from rolling further.

Growing up, I had a recurring dream about rolling downhill alone in a car near where I lived.

Fast forward twenty years. I am driving a rental car in San Francisco a few months before I move there. My new-ish boyfriend (and future husband) is in the passenger seat. We are behind several cars on one of those famous streets, a very steep hill with a four way intersection and stop sign at the top.

I have one foot on the gas and the other on the break. Each time I press forward, there are a few moments of rolling backwards. I remember my childhood dreams and become scared. I tell my boyfriend that he needs to quickly switch with me and take over the driving.

He gently refuses and tells me that I need to do this for myself. At first I am slightly irritated but I know he is right. In fact, I am grateful that he did not take this opportunity from me and that I have his support rather than him trying to rescue me. This experience tells me that I’ve got someone who believes in me and is worth being with.

It’s so easy to step in and save people. To give advice and fix. It takes something more to stay the coursewhile they figure it out for themselves, struggle or make mistakes.

When we love someone, we don’t want them to suffer. The desire to protect is a natural one. There are occasions when it is appropriate to help directly but too many times we cheat someone of an embodied learning experience and feelings of competence, confidence and triumph due to our own discomfort. This can apply to children, women in labor or someone coping with a disability.

The incident in the car with my husband taught me a valuable lesson. It is something that I remember fondly and reminds me of why I chose this man.